Unhappy
Feat
 This
is a little embarrassing but I had athlete's foot...
for five years... and I never suspected.
I know. Sexy, huh?
The major symptom was pain. My feet hurt all the time,
especially whenever I walked as it felt as though I
was striding
barefoot across cobblestones. My feet appeared okay,
they were
a little
dry and scaly and
my toes felt
a little numb
but I just
put it
down as
another instance of my advancing decrepitude.
I Googled my symptoms frequently, discovering such
delightful maladies as rheumatoid arthritis, peripheral
neuropathy and countless other dead
ends.
I tried vitamins, exercise, hot oil treatments, the
occasional sacrifice to the Dark Lord, but nothing
helped. Finally it got so bad I went to see a podiatrist
about two weeks ago. $250 later I was out the door
with a tube of fungicide in my hand and a big, fat
case
of
the
stoopids.
I honestly
never suspected the problem. After all, what kind of
slob gets athlete's foot?
The reason I broach this tasteful
little anecdote is because several days later I happened
to mention my
podiatral experience to my neighbor, and his eyes started
bulging out of their sockets.
"MY FEET HURT, TOO!",
he said.
It turns out that he also has a raging case of the
Hindoostani sneaker scourge and didn't know what it
was. He was delighted
to hear his
feet weren't going to rot off and that the treatment
would be dirt cheap. I billed him $250. It seemed only
fair.
So consider this a cautionary tale if you happen to
have achy tootsies.
One more thing, the doc prescribed a semi-exotic,
prescription-only fungicide that retailed for $35 at
my local pharmacy, but I
found
it online
for $8. So keep your Google at the ready.
------------
I think what I'm really trying to
say with this cartoon is that if you're going to ensnare
your mind in biblical amber then perhaps you'd be happier
on some distant island, staving off disease and starvation
while enjoying the same sort of bronze age existence
referenced in the tome you've chosen as your life-guide.
Meanwhile, the rest of us will get on with the vital
business of shattering our fragile ecosystem.
=Lefty=
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 "We're
going to have a relentless focus on creating
jobs." -
John Boehner, February 10, 2011.
The following is #83 in a list of Republican
job creation activities
since they gained control of the House in 2011.
None, sad to
say,
have
yet to result in one, single new job.
(83) 9-15-2011: Today the GOP-led House passed
a bill that would make
it easier to fire union workers, union organizers,
or simply move jobs overseas in order
to bust a union. In essence, an anti-jobs bill.
(84) 9-16-2011:
The government has provided loans that help the auto
industry create jobs, that helped keep the assembly
of the Ford Focus and the Nissan Leaf here in America.
Republican Majority Leader Eric
Cantor plans to strip
half that money to repair damage from Hurricane Irene...
in HIS district.
(85) 9-16-2011: President Obama is
trying to fast
track job creation for a company called
LightSquared and Republicans are pissed, evidently
because the employer had the nerve to donate to the Democratic
Party. He, uh, also donated to the Republican Party.
NOTE: As a result of an unexpected wave of enthusiasm
the Republican
Job Creation update now has its
own web site. It will remain on the RP but a web site
of its own will raise its visibility on the 'net as
we progress towards the critical 2012 elections. And
I thank you for your support.
------------
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