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Today's progressive comic.

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Baby Talk

You know how when you, say, teach an 8-year-old about the technical side of procreation and later you overhear him telling a friend "Then the boy puts his peanuts in a girl's banana and after a long time you get a baby."

That's t-Rump.

For instance, he recently said "They don't have the money to do the universal mail-in voting. So therefore, they can't do it. How are they going to do it if they don't have the money to do it?"

This is t-Rump paraphrasing, to the best of his limited ability, Steve Bannon explaining to him in gleeful detail how starving the U.S. Postal Service of emergency funding will make it impossible for the agency to handle the huge influx of mail-in voting made necessary by the pandemic.

t-Rump didn't have to make any public statement about mail-in voting at all, but he's like that kid with a little bit of information that's too complicated for him so he tries to act smart by childsplaining it to everyone.

He does this all. The. Time.

If t-Rump repeated, word-for-word, everything Bannon explained to him the White House would have been a smoking ruin a long time ago. But t-Rump's English-to-Idiot translation works to remove the hard edge to his conservative voters, making him seem folksy and approachable while he's actually telling them to grab their ankles and take a deep breath.

The rest of us understand exactly what he's saying, which is "Hey? Wanna see something cool I can do with gasoline?"

(For the record, "Steve Bannon", in this case, is an amalgam of Vladimir Putin, Steve Bannon, Stephen Miller and whichever Koch brother hasn't yet been dragged back to Hell by Satan.)


t-Rump's pick to run the Postal Service, Wormtongue DeJoy, is removing sorting machines from post offices. That's like removing the scanners at Piggly Wiggly and going back to individual price stickers on your canned tamales. DeJoy says it's to make the mail more cost-effective.


But, wait....

He's removing the sorting machines. Where are they going?

Oh, they're just surplus now. Probably going to be bought for pennies on the dollar by some new private equity firm that specializes in, uh, sorting the mail.

You see where this is going, right?

The USPS is not just the people who deliver our bills and checks and medicines and packages, it's a LOT of valuable real estate people like Trump can't wait to start slicing up and selling off. Jared and Ivanka will be first in line, no doubt.

That is, if they get the chance.

Call your Republican Senator right now and yell on him, or her. This can be stopped but only if we speak up.

Call the Capitol switchboard at 202-224-3121 and ask for your senator.


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)
Post office with man trying to mail ballot. Behind the counter is an evil gloating GOP elephant. A sign on the counter say says "Warning: No packages containing anything, liquid, fragile or hazardous to the reelection of Donald Trump."

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