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The progressive web comic about organ donation.

start rant

Fred's Dead.

This is the story of Fred.

Many years ago, while Fred was floating unconcerned in his womb, dreaming of wonders to come, his mother was drinking and smoking and partaking of rather more doses of thalidomide than was really wise. So when Fred entered this world he came equipped with a raging case of fetal alcohol syndrome and only stubby widgets for arms.

As he grew he contracted measles, which left him blind, and polio, which restricted him to an iron lung for most of his young life. A later bout with scarlet fever left him deaf. When his lungs began to fail he was intubated which left him unable to speak. By the time he was in his teens the only sense he retained was his sense of smell, which was rather unfortunate as he suffered continual bouts of explosive diarrhea.

Did I mention the iron lung?

On the day of his 21st birthday, an occasion of which he was totally unaware, the house he lived in caught fire, burnt to a cinder, and collapsed into an ashy heap. As the last ember died, fading to a cold ebony, a meteor the size of a Studebaker Lark struck the smoking remains of the house and scattered Fred's ashes for miles in all directions.

For once in his life Fred caught a break as he didn't even know he had died. All he knew was that suddenly he awoke in Heaven with a strong and beautiful new body. He even had a pair of wings that allowed him to flit from wispy cirrus to puffy cumulo-nimbus. By day he frollicked with his friends and by night sat at God's right hand and played polka music on his harp and was happy for all eternity.

And this is exactly why everyone who labours under the primitive delusion of western religions should sign an organ donor card. No one honestly believes they live forever in Heaven with the body in which they died.

I mean... ewww.

So quit think you have to be buried with all your original bits and share God's gift, or at least the healthy remaining parts, with those left behind who can best use them. I can promise God isn't going to be pissed that you left your fucking corneas or kidneys behind. He just wants your souls. (And I sorely wish we could transplant THOSE, too, as there are a lot of conservatives that desperately need a new one.)

As for us atheists, we all know we're worm-food anyway so most of us have already consigned away our remains to anyone that wants them.



end rant

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We live in an era of needless obsolescence. If we always had the parts we could keep the things we love and cherish much longer.
Gosh, look at the time. I'm late for my shift at the dialysis clinic.
All right! I'll sign the damn organ donor card!