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Here's Your Sign

Comedian Bill Engvall has a gimmick, a chunk of his act devoted to something called "Here's Your Sign".

Bill's theory is that the world is over populated by humans whose capacity for critical observation is hampered by a severe neuron deficit and that they'd all be doing everyone else a favor if they would just wear a sign signifying they're dumb as a box of Bolivian claw hammers.

You know the people I'm talking about. They're the ones who approach your blackboard where you're trying to solve the Schrodinger's paradox of superposition and they say "Is that a dead cat?" and you reply "No one really knows. Here's your sign."

At which point the inquisitor would be presented with a placard bearing the printed message, in big red letters, "Caution: Mitigated Cogitate " and be summarily encouraged to display it in a prominent place on or about their persons.

This may seem ridiculous but, in fact, there already exist many such people in this world who wear such signs and, in fact, wear them proudly. Just look for the words "Trump 2016".


Ross Perot.

"Who the bloody fuck is Ross Perot?" I imagine hearing some of you muttering to yourself.

Mr. Perot, our last great third-party presidential candidate had, as a businessman, some unusual ideas about government but he wasn't bat-shit crazy ora world-class lying sack of shit like donald Trump. Please, do yourself a favor and go read about Mr. Perot and his strange odyssey through the 1992 and 1996 presidential elections.


end rant

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GOP: Too bad about old Bernie. Maybe it's time for a third party. Hint-hint.
Lefty: Capital idea!
Ross Perot : Ah'm rested and ready!
Lefty with Perot 2016 sign: I'm glad you thought of it.
Here's your sign.

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