The Conservative Guide to Restoring the American Economy
(1) Devise simplistic method of imprisoning people for
The third sin has done you in." "Dang!"
(Extra bonus points for rigging drug laws to favor whites.)
(2) Convert state prisons to privately-run businesses.
McJail. Over 4 million incarcerated."
(Extra bonus points if government officials [Arizona!]
get a taste of the action)
(3) (3) encourage rise in crime by off-shoring jobs and
the mortgage system.
Bye, hon. I'm off to work."
(Extra bonus points if perpetrators get obscenely-huge
bonus for wrecking economy)
(4) Employ burgeoning prison population as slave labor
Slave? I'll have you know I make 24 cents an hour!"
(Extra bonus points if convicts previously voted for
Extra Credit Section
(5) Continue until at least half the U.S. population
is permanently incarcerated.
Sigh. I wonder how the other half lives?" "If
I hear that one more time..."
(Extra bonus points if 100% of Californians are under
(6) Celebrate victory as Chinese market is flooded with
cheap prison-made consumer goods.
Look, Honey! More Victoria's Secret!" "Oh,
(Extra bonus points if "Not made in China, bitches!" appears
on all products.)