Behold, the New Duh-chmark

The plan right now is for the mint to make nine million of these totally legal dollar coins bearing the visage, and ludicrous glower, of a known rapist. Be it known, however, that if you want one you have to buy at least twenty-five at a time.

Okay, so you buy a roll because your meth dealer got arrested for fondling his daughter and you now have a spare sixty bucks laying around. What do you do with these things?

Stick them in a safety deposit box next to your NFTs and your case of Billy Beer and wait for their value to increase? Nahhh.

Give them out as gifts to your MAGA pals who I'm SURE won't try to use it to buy a Slurpee when there's nothing else left between the seats of the pickup except a can of Miller Lite half-full of chewing terbacky spittle? Nahhhh.

Will the RNC buy a shitload of these things to pass out like after-dinner mints while forcing a prospective Republican congessman to pose for incriminating photos with a Girl Scout? Possibly.

Maybe Trump wanted coins to cover his eyes, after he dies, which would match the color of that Revlon "Totally Atomic Pumpkin" foundation glop he clowns around in. Even so, I'm pretty sure the Ferryman is going to say "What the fuck are THESE suppose to be?"

Or maybe that raping fuckhead finally found a sure way that at least one of his grifts manages to maintain some value. The Bibles, the shoes, the watches, the phones, all that shit is destined for curb pickup. But the coin, if anyone can get their hands on one, will never be worth less than a dollar. And for Trump, even though the coins immediately lost half their value after they left the Mint, that's a success.

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Addendum: People are already selling the coins on eBay even though the vendors say they won't be able to ship them until the 21st of September. Considering eBay routinely requires shipment within three days this is going to be interesting. You know, like "Trump phone" interesting.

Also, do you know what the web page to buy Trump coins says?

“Product availability is not guaranteed”.

Now where have I heard THAT before?

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What Google is telling us is if Trump had demanded that Lake Ontario be renamed "Lake Stormy Daniels Lied About the Size of My Immense and Bigly Penis" then that's what would appear in any Google search of the Great Lakes.

But that's what you did, Google. You bent your knee and tugged your forelock for an oatmeal-brained moron throwing a hissy-fit because he's incapable of doing anything except grift and sue.

Up yours, Larry. Seig heil, Sergey.

PS, Fuck Apple Maps, too.

-Lefty