An Earful

Thomas Lee Crooks managed to pump off eight shots using a rifle with a laser scope at a target 200 yards away and still couldn't hit a fat guy standing in one spot.

Thomas Lee Crooks was a patsy. He wasn't there to shoot Trump but others died. The whole thing was staged to help that orange, demented sociopath win the election. End of story.

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Racist Rapist: "The Iranian military, which I destroyed single-handedly, just shot down one of my precious avocado helicopters..."

Aide: "Apache helicopter, sir."

RR: "Quiet, piggie! So we need to get revenge on those jerks. REVENGE! How about we send them Zzzzzzzzz.....

Aide: "Sir? Sir!"

RR: "Huh! What? Oh, yeah. I have a bigly genius idea. I want to send Iran some smallpox-infected blankets. Let's kill those brown bastards the old-fashioned way!"

Aide: "Iran has a very robust health-care system, sir. The entire population is vaccinated against smallpox."

RR: "Damn! Well, then, how about we kill all the buffalos they make their igloos out of. Let 'em freeze to death this summer in that hot sun."

Aide: "We could, sir, but you, uhhh, you killed all their bison last year. Remember? When you wiped out their nuclear program?"


RR: "Oh! Did I? Well, hmmmm. Awesome. I hear they like beads. Can we give them beads to open the Strait of Trump?"

Aide: "Sir..."

RR: "Allright! I got it. Poison their drinking water! They'll all die like the rats they are!"

Aide: "Even the children?"

RR: "Yeah, but Hegseth..."

Aide: "Hegseth is a goddamn.... uh, look, how about instead we just bomb a couple of their reservoirs?"

RR: "Rezzer-bores?"

Aide: "It's big hole with water in it, sir. Poor people drink from it."

RR: "Gross! But, fine, as long as those people suffer, I'm happy. So go, bomb their holes. Have fun. Before you go, though, put a few more Epstein files on the fire. My cankles are freezing!"

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On Monday night President Harris shut down five square blocks of midtown New York to attend a basketball game, ordered the streets filled with hundreds of police officers who literally had nothing to do, drove through streets lined with angry citizens loudly cursing her name, treated all of the players like criminals by having authorities search each one for weapons, was loudly booed by the entire arena of fans, and then promptly fell asleep during the game.

Fox News was outraged. They immediately demanded Harris be impeached for wasting millions of tax-payers dollars just so she could perform for the cameras in a venue of which she had no real interest or enthusiasm.

That's all the news from Reverse World. Have a horrible evening and drive dangerously.

- Lefty