"I'm Comin', 'Lizbeth!"

Now why would I think that a man, "elected" into the White House, who has lied over 30,000 times while in office, might have faked an assassination attempt that looked exactly like a faked assassination attempt?

For the same reason I think he'll fake something else, like a heart attack, to mask the fact that his henchmen are hacking the voting machines again.

Cynical? With Trump in the White House no one can be cynical enough.

Bigger picture - Disseminating an idea like this until it becomes lodged in the zeitgeist will force the fascist bastards to come up with other ideas. Though that might involve nuking Los angeles and blaming Iran. Wouldn't put it past them.

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Don't wait! You, too, can apply for part of Trump's $1.8 billion dollar slush fund.

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The Paranoid Putz said his new golden ballroom is going to have 5-inch thick (supposedly bullet-proof) glass windows, sniper's nests(!!!), and a "drone empire" (?) on the roof.

I'm guessing any day now Trump will decide to wrap his new fuhrerbunker completely in lead so that Superman can't spy on him as he abuses himself every night to the centerfold photos of Vladimir Putin in Dictatorboy Magazine.

(Centerfold? To those under the age of 40 there used to be this magazine that.... oh, never mind.)


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Hey, America! You're paying higher gas prices for some indeterminate reason. Something about "freedom" or "nukes that we already obliterated" or "A friend of Trump who was never his friend but who often flew on his plane to an island stocked with under-clothed, underaged females which everyone needs to shut the fuck up about and pretend never happened!"

My take on Trump's "excursion" into Iran was that it was primarily meant to bloat oil profits for his corporate bribers, uh, I mean, buddies. It's win-win for Big Oil as they don't pay a damn dime for all those Tomahawk missiles screaming down on schoolrooms so their CEO's will get to do the backstroke through vaults full of all this new plunder for years to come, at a minimum.

Under normal circumstances you'd think such a conflict interrupting our nation's energy supply would drive the renewables market. But, by some strange coincidence, Trump's tariffs raised the price of solar panels by 50%, or more. And now, with energy-sucking Ai data centers magically popping up like pimples on a teenager's forehead before the prom, any of the currently established U.S. solar farms are basically running in place.

It's clear that Trump has his snorkel and swims fins ready to join his pals in that big golden pond but I'm confident his solar panel tariffs will be lifted immediately after Exxon or BP figure out how to block out the sun for all but themselves.

8647.

- Lefty