Trans-National

If you think that Trump’s assassination was staged, and I do, then you also have to think that people were murdered for Trump's benefit.

And they were.

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The Mary Tyler Moore Latent Homosexuality Test

Many American men are confused about their sexuality. Because of this I've developed a test to determine if you are a homosexual based on which character in the Mary Tyler Moore Show you'd prefer to have sex with.

Let's begin, shall we?

Lou: If you chose Mr. Grant then, yes, you are a homosexual although this brand of sex will typically follow three hours of sanding a boat, some Greco-Roman wrestling, and drinking at least a six-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Neither of you will talk about it afterwards.

Sue Ann: You are not a homosexual but you may have mother issues that I refuse to discuss here. In fact, screw you for even making me think of it. You sick, twisted weirdo!

Murray: Yes, you're a homosexual, but you could do SO much better.

Georgette: You're not a homosexual but don't be surprised if you wind up drugged, trussed, and pegged for hours at a time while she curses the patriarchy. It's always the quiet ones.

Ted: You may be homosexual for wanting to engage in sex with the likes of Ted Baxter but he will not understand what you're doing at the time and won't remember the particulars of the assignation until years afterward while performing a simple task like stuffing a Cornish hen.

Mary: Yes and no. Even if you were WERE gay you'd probably want to fuck Mary.

- Lefty