From the Raging Pencils Opinion Page

If any of the many J6 Congressmen, or a couple of Supreme Court Judges (or their wives), had ever been convicted Trump would have pardoned them. Bank on that.

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(For those of you who never watched “Pluribus” you can move on. For everyone else, the following Pluribus scene is for me:)

Carol: “Zosia, would you mind answering a few questions?”

Zosia: “I’ll be happy to.”

Carol: “Okay. Did Donald Trump really rape children on Jeffrey Epstein’s private island?”

Zosia: “He did. But you should know that he was not the only one. There were similar sex-trafficking operations like his around the world, mostly among the very wealthy. But don’t worry, that’s no longer an issue as sex is now limited to reproduction. Should I elaborate?”

Carol: “No…. no, I get it. Thanks. Regarding Trump again, though, could you tell me if he won his elections fairly?”

Zosia: “Your… election system… alarmed us as it had obviously reached a stage where it was inherently contrary to what you call ‘democratic principles’. Voting results had long been compromised by greed and so, yes, Mr. Trump’s political party leveraged the results to their benefit in 2016 and 2024.”

Carol: “How?”

Zosia: “It’s very complicated but, to be honest, such knowledge would be useless to you now as no one will be punished for any criminal act previous to their joining with the hive mind.”

Carol: “But some people deserve to be punished for their crimes. That man caused the deaths of millions of people! Do you understand?”

Zosia: “As you know, that is not our way.”

Carol: “Okay. Fine! I get it. Everyone gets a fresh start. But I would still like you to have Trump come here.”

ZosiaL: “Certainly, but we will not allow you to harm him.”

Carol: “No, no, I wouldn’t do that. It’s just that my right shoulder has been acting up lately and I’d like to have someone help me clean my behind after I defecate.”

Zosia: “Certainly.”

Carol: “With his tongue.”

Zosia: “You know…. I think he might actually enjoy that.”

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For those who care about such things I'll changing the art for the opening page soon. Huzzah!

- Lefty