The Art of the Doll

TRUE: Trump reinterprets unequivocal events

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The Republican budget bill is sort of like the Bible. It's a total fantasy which no one bothers to read, and when they do they find it's completely full of shit.

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Republican Senator Joni Ernst told voters not to worry about health care cuts because "We're all going to die."

Then Trump claimed Joe Biden was killed and replaced by a robot.

I just watched the latest Rick and Morty episode and in it the queen of a planet was killed and replaced by a robot. And then Rick told a soldier he just shot that he shouldn't bemoan his fate because "we're all going to die anyway".

It doesn't surprise me that people in the Trump administration are getting their ideas from cartoons but they need to keep their frickin' hands off Rick and Morty.

Some things are just sacred, you know?

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Conservative media is madder than a wet hen, their feathers ruffled, aghast that Taco Trump would dare be henpecked to distraction by Democrats, who are suggesting that his tariff management style is for the birds, that it laid an egg, that he's wringing the country's neck, that he's putting his eggs in one basket, that he's counting those same eggs before they've hatched, that there's egg on his orange face, that's he's running around like a chicken with his ear cut off, that's he's a dumb cluck, that he's breaking all the eggs but doesn't know how to cook an omelet, and that he's a cracked and broken and stinky bad egg.

But I guess they have a point.

After all, Flocks News, uh, I mean, Fox News, et al, never cackled gleefully once about Joe Biden being hatched three years before Trump. Now did they?

And that ain't no yolk.

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It's no coincidence, to me, that Musk is leaving the White House now as his job seems to have been to create unbridled chaos in order to keep the worst budget bill in U.S. history off the front page of the news.

Nothing Musk did is going to save tax-payers much money but his antics are certainly going to result in a big surprise to lot of Red-Staters expecting their insulin and food stamps to arrive on time.

And, yeah, he's all "WTF?" now about Trump's Big Beautiful Bullshit but the man killed 300,000 kids. Fuck him.

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Taco Trump was informed, probably through the use of a pop-up book, of Ukraine's game-changing drone attack on Russia's air fleet.

So he said to himself "Hey! I think I'll Pearl Harbor my enemies, too!" and enacted a new tariff on steel and aluminum aimed directly at Canada and Mexico, our major providers.

So, from here on, think of Taco Trump's tariffs as his little extortion drones.

- Lefty