Rotten To Their Core

The four stages of decay is actually a biological thing...except it's actually FIVE stages of decay. The fifth stage involves decomposition and skeletonization but a fifth panel wasn't going to work.

Though now that I think about it....

Crap!

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I'd like to share a charming, heart-warming Thanksgiving story that involves full-frontal nudity.

After Ms. Magoomba and I had stuffed ourselves silly at the Thanksgiving table (she went for the turkey, I gorged on the green bean casserole) we decided to watch a movie. I told her I had copy of a unusual sci-fi flick for her perusal. She said "Yay!", snuggled up close to me on the couch and promptly fell into a food coma. (Post-prandial somnolence for you pedantics out there.)

I was totally unaware of this and it turns out to be an important detail.

The movie was "Under the Skin", a decidedly arty sci-fi flick whose plot involves a black blob of alien goo coming to Earth and taking on a particularly comely human female form. Her goal is to find friendless human males and lure them into her lair, a pitch-black room full of pitch-black goo. They're subsequently sucked down into this goo, a really cool effect, after which their innards are sucked out, leaving only a wisp of their skin left floating in the obsidian current.

Did I mention she lures them into the room by slowly stripping? Did I also forget to mention the alien is Scarlett Johansson? Like, a totally nude Scarlett Johansson?

As the first instance of this, uh, artistic seduction was occurring, about fifteen minutes into the movie, I suddenly hear, at a volume considerably higher than necessary....

"What the Hell are we watching?"

Yes, she was suddenly wide awake. For fifteen minutes I had mistaken her snoozing for quiet appreciation of the director's craft.

I want you to imagine, if you must, being a teenaged male in the quiet solitude of your bedroom, studiously contemplating Miss July's spectacular array of pectoral epidermis, when your mom suddenly walks in without knocking.

Yeah... that.

Anyway...

Ms. Magoomba is, thankfully, open-minded about such adult fare and proceeded to watch and, once acclimated to exactly what the Hell was going on, really enjoyed the film.

Most importantly, she didn't tell my mom.

Note of Pure Coincidence: Prior to watching the movie we enjoyed a quick episode of Rick Steves, in Scotland this time. Well, guess where the movie we watched was filmed? If you guessed Scotland you've won a brand new Pontiac.

- Lefty