Duck Trump!

(I was considering drawing the following alphabet but I quickly realized each image would consist of Trumpler and an underaged female in distress. So I thought I'd save myself some time and trouble by just putting the images in your head. Heh-heh-heh.)

The Trump Pedo Alphabet:

A is for “adolescent-assailant”
B is for “bambino-banger”
C is for “child-chaser”
D is for “daughter-diddler”
E is for “early-onset-puberty-purveyor”
F is for “fledgling-fetishist”
G is for “girl-groper”
H is for “hymen-haunter”
I is for “immature-female-intercourser”
J is for “juvenile-jumper”
K is for “kiddie-cuddler”
L is for “little-lady-labia-licker”
M is for “minor-mugger”
N is for “nestling-nookie-navigator”
O is for “offspring-objectifier”
P is for “pubescent-pudendum-pursuer”
Q is for “questionable-quim-quester”
R is for “recently-ripened-middle-schooler-ransacker"
S is for “stripling-shtupper”
T is for “tween-trafficker”
U is for “urgent-urchin-insurgent"
V is for “virginal-vagina-violator”
W is for “waif-weasel”
X is for “anneXer-of-seXy-sweet-siXteeners”
Y is for “youngster-yearner”
Z is for “zero-excuse-for-a-human”

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I know everyone's all upset that Trump is grabbing the pudenda of immature female humans but Fox's Megyn Kelly reassures us that Jeffrey Epstein, and by extension Trump himself, only diddles 15-year-olds, not 8-year-olds. Which means Kelly's 14-year-old daughter has at least one more year before she's on Dear Leader's all-you-can-rape menu. I hope Megyn can wait that long.

- Lefty