The
GOP Cost of Living/Dying
I don't think I'm oversimplifying the obvious when I
suggest that if there's something wrong in this country
it can ultimately be traced back to Conservative/Republican
policies.
I mean, pick one:
Race relations, health care, the environment, wealth
inequality, pandemic mitigation, renewable energy, abortion,
child care, education, 30,000 guns deaths per year, homelessness,
and let's not forget red-meat bonanzas like Florida's
"Don't
Say Gay" bill.
Democrats have answers for such tough issues but as
long at the GOP continues to use the filibuster as a
cudgel towards anything but the consolidation of power
and wealth for their donors the 99% can go straight to
Hell as far as they're concerned.
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You know when you're at a friend's house and their 4-year-old
goes "You wanna see the funny pictures mommy and
daddy keep under their bed?"
That's the same feeling I got when I heard Madison Cawthorn
describe coke-fired Republican orgies.
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One thing the Russian invasion of Ukraine is teaching
us is that thanks to Javelin missiles the age of tank
warfare is largely over.
----------------
A recent topic on John Oliver's "Last Week Tonight" program
was about concert ticket prices and all the shenanigans
which are involved keeping them staggeringly
high. One of the problems is that various entities (Please
watch the video) conspire to acquire large blocks
of tickets, oftentimes before the public
has a chance at them, only to resell them at ridiculous
markups.
My solution: Put all seats for an event up for individual
auction. This way everyone gets a shot at them. Even
though fans will eventually end up paying similarly high
prices for the
best
seats
the money
will
go to the artists/venues rather than into the pockets
of unscrupulous scalpers.
Ticketmaster itself could handle the auction, and make
a few bucks for itself with a small fee, but the price
of tickets will be determined by the market, not the
scalper.
----------------
You know why we needed the James Webb Space Telescope?
Because we needed to look even farther into the universe
to find intelligent
life,
farther than the Hubble is capable, because there isn't
much here on Earth (he said while chewing his own foot
off in impotent rage.).
---------------
I got my second booster shot this weekend and it made
me want to nap a lot, which I did.
Anyway...
My inoculation dance card is now officially
filled. Since I'm sure Covid isn't going away soon the
CDC may
want
to send the next card with possibly a FEW more slots
in it. Just a suggestion.
---------------
While
waiting in the pharmacist-appointed cubby as my second
booster shot
was being boiled, toiled and troubled it was hard to
miss the end-cap display of products intended for human
reproductive mating rituals. That is to say, lubricants
and prophylactics aplenty.
Being of a curious sort with, as it happened, lots of time
on my hands I proceeded to compare the KY jellies with the
Astroglides for ingredients and/or caloric content. That's
when my eye fell on a somewhat drably ornamented box which,
to my perverse delight, proved to be store-brand KY jelly.
Half the price of national brands.
What a bargain!
Maybe it's just me but discount fornication lubricant is
an inherently funny idea, instantly conjuring the notion
of "budget fucking". (Which also sounds like the
name of a low-end brothel. But I digress.)
As any child worth his salt immediately knows the difference
between real "Frosted
Flakes" and the dollar store brand of "Frozted
Flakies" I imagine there might be some resistance from
one's inamorata at the critical moment when their eyes land
on the bottle's label.
"Seriously? You're gonna bang me using off-brand love-juice?
Shit! Why not just dig some of that black gunk from under
the fridge and slam it up me? It obviously makes no difference
to you, you cheap, horny bastard!"
Still, there are couples who, in these critical times, might
need to save a few pennies in order the stretch the budget.
"We're having stew again for dinner tonight, honey. Yes, I
know, but this time I was able to afford to add a little
meat by buying the cheap dragon lotion. Yes, I love you,
too."
The last thing I'd like to share is this: I picked up the
box of utility-goo off the shelf to give it a closer inspection
and found that the contents had been obviously purloined
by some penniless Romeo. To him I say "Enjoy your docking
maneuver, Major Tom. You earned it."
=Lefty=
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