Be
Seeing you
A couple of years ago I was minding my own business,
stocking away the seventh jerry-can of my micturational
essences for the eventual purpose of drenching Trump's
final resting place in a torrrent of my best regards,
when a veil of aged vellum seem to close over my
right eye.
"Well, that's unusual" I said.
An hour or so later, after the most cautious fifteen-minute
drive of my life, an optometrist told me I have a
cataract in my right eye. Also one in my left eye,
though it was just a baby by comparison.
Oddly, the cataract wasn't the problem with my eroding
eyesight. It was, to put it technically, a
blob of eyeball goo that was making shadow
puppets of bunnies and the odd moose across the path
of my optic nerve. Nothing special. It's an old geezer
thing.
"But you're going to need cataract surgery soon,"
said the doc.
"But I'm too young and pretty for this!" I said.
"Okay, maybe just too pretty. Okay, maybe just 'too'."
I proceeded to spend the next 18 months playing
corneal tag with The Blob. Eventually it grew weary
of such antics and now
lays
snoozing on the bottom of my eyeball along with
incalculable numbers of worn rods, blown cones,
former-floaters,
a few apples, and an ex-gleam or two. At which
time I was able to firm grasp on the limitations
that
naughty
right
cataract
was inflicting on my sight.
At first my visual field was largely unimpaired
but it was... difficult to read with the right
eye.
Then after awhile it became impossible to read
with the
right
eye. And
that's why at 10:30 AM on December 19, 2022 Big
Cranky Art Monkey is giving
in to the inevitable. I'll probably be under
the knife, or laser, about the time the J6th
Committee
points its accumulated fingers at Trump and shouts "J'accuse!"
I approach this process with all good faith in
the splendid and remarkable advances medical science
has made in this field. I've also, in the past
few
years,
accompanied
two friends who've endured the process and now
sing unabashed hosannas to the results. Good old
science!
Now, let me tell you about my lumbago. You see,
every morning I... what? I have to go to take my
happy pills and go to bed now? Oh, well, okay.
See you on the other side. (See what I did there?)
----------------
Today's comic is a repeat from December 19, 2018.
Exactly four years ago.
=Lefty=
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