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Progressive comic about the Paris Accords and polar bears and Casablanca.

start rant

Play It Again, Sam Donaldson.

"Trump's small base is not gonna run this country. They don't now, and they never will." - Sam Donaldson


A Florida massage parlor owner has been selling Chinese executives access to t-Rump at Mar-a-Lago.

Dubya gave full White House press access to a male prostitute.

President Obama once wore a tan suit.

I am not making this up.


t-Rump, 2015: "Mexico will pay for the wall and I'm going to save Medicare and Medicaid!"

t-Rump, 2019: "Americans will pay for the wall and I'm gutting Medicaid and Medicare. Bwah-hahahahahah! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!."

I added that last part.


Did anyone miss the t-Rump tweet where he advised the Senate to ignore the Constitution and give him the money for his wall?

It seemed kinda... important.


Real News: "Does the president really think the Democrats hate Jews?"

Sarah Sanders: "You have to ask the Democrats."

Democrats: "Okay. No, we don't hate Jews. But t-Rump is a big fat fucking pro-Nazi racist liar-pants. Thanks for asking."


After all these stories linking Republican men to pedophilia you'd think things couldn't get any worse.

Well, I'm tellin' ya, somewhere one of them sick sumbitches is sitting in a sticky Laz-z-Boy, swilling a beer, watching a Sarah Sanders press briefing and saying to himself "Yeah, I'd hit that."


Last week the Democratic-led House passed a resolution condemning bigotry. (To which 23 House Republicans voted "No".)

In response, the Republican-led Senate continued to fill circuit court seats with judges who think the South will rise again.


Tucker Carlson, a week ago: "Joe Biden must be held accountable for every word he said back in 1975!"

Tucker Carlson, today: "Those naughty things I said about women a few years ago? Tee-hee. Oh, pshaw. Shucks. That was a long time ago, folks. I'm as pure and the driven snow now. Please don't boycott my advertisers. Pleeeeeeeeeeease!"

Fuck Tucker Carlson!

No, seriously, fuck this guy with a big rubber cactus! If he didn't already have bajillions of Fox News money in the bank I'd love to see what sort of street-performer job he'd be reduced to in order to pay for his monkey-gland injections. But that assumes Fox News has even the most microscopic sense of decency and fires him so I want my pony, too, please.


Which of these two would make a better representative of the people?

Waitress: Familiar with the handling and processing of food, employed alongside multiple races, understands the reality of minimum wage (and less), usually under-insured, knows the price of food, intimate with sexual harassment, strives to offer the kind of service that pleases the customer and results in the most generous gratuities.

Real estate developer: Tries to find a sucker every minute.

Love you, AOC.

Fuck you, t-Rump.


Nancy Pelosi revealed that the House will not seek impeachment of our pussy-snatching potentate.

Actually, she won't have to if/when the Giant Orange Man-Baby resigns as a result of being found guilty of tax and insurance fraud.

However, I guaran-fucking-tee you she would have begun the impeachment process on Fat Hitler her first day as Speaker if the Senate wasn't compromised by both Putin and the Koch brothers.


Trump: "Today my guest on "Capitalists in Cartels Drinking Cofveve and Eating Hamberders" is Tim Apple! What? No, I said that right. I just said it the right way REAL soft so you couldn't hear it. JARED! People are being mean to me again!"


"Look Mawmaw! Th' president done signed mah Bahble!"

"Whut's it say, son? Yew know mawmaw cain't read no more 'causa her dahbeetus."

"It sez 'Ah owes you a trillion dollers, sucker.' Whut you 'spoze that means, Mawmaw?"

"Jaysus only knows, son. Jaysus only knows."


There are people in this country who actually believe that t-Rump was chosen by God.

This brings to mind the Dunning-Kruger effect which states that you can't understand you're incompetent if you're incompetent.

Or, in the case of evangelicals:

Only someone dumb enough to believe in God is dumb enough to believe in God.




end rant

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Polar bear in Casablanca parody.
We're just two little people, Rick, but you possess the power of the atom, you're destined for the stars even though we both know that man's chemical dependency on fossil fuels will kill us all. So I'll get on that plane and return home and slowly starve to death in a frozen wasteland. But we'll always have the Paris Accords.

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