Rollen-Rollen-Rollen!

Anyone remember this guy? He used to make a spectacle of himself throughout the 70s and 80s at sporting events, usually in the end zone at football games, drawing attention to himself and his message by waving like a lunatic every time there was an extra point try.

His name is Rollen Stewart and he was a Jesus Freak to the same degree that George Zimmerman is a racist scumbag. Rollen made it his job to remind us all that "God so loved the world he gave his only fuck-you-fuck-you-guilt-guilt-guilt-guilt".

Hey! Someone had to do it. Up until the 70s not many people had ever heard of Jesus. Right? (I kid. I kid because I hate.)

So where is Rollen now? In prison, serving three life terms for kidnapping and other assorted fun crimes. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

But Rollen wasn't what I wanted to talk about. It was what was on his shirt, that "John 3:16" stuff. The Greeks, who cobbled together the original version of what we call "The Bible", didn't originally delineate the text into the clear-cut chapters and verses with which we're all familiar. That was done much later, in 1551, by a Frenchman named Henri Estienne. Its effect was to instantly change the Bible from a collection of ancient literature to what it actually is... a rulebook. Yes, the Bible is no different from any government handbook on how to lubricate an Abrams tank or how to properly play a game of Brockian ultra-cricket.

For an idea of the kind of difference this makes consider doing the same thing to, say, A Clockwork Orange, Pride and Predjudice, or The Professor and the Naughty Coeds. Now if you need a justification for an English murder spree you need say no more than "Burgess 5:27".

But for now, at least, if you quickly need to find the proper verse to put some slut in her place it's never been easier.... at least, since 1551.

=Lefty=