Dances
With Wolf Girls
 While
it's true that
you couldn't, through intensive breeding programs,
alter a dog's outward appearance to closely resemble
a human
in a mere
60 years,
I'll
bet it
could still be done in a reasonable number of decades.
The dog, as we all know, has a very plastic gene and
reproduces like, well, rabbits.
As far as I
know, in a world full of Labradoodles and
Pomskys, there's no law against attempting such
a physical reconstruction but there's
no
doubt
that the "ick
factor"
would
be off the charts.
For one thing, the creature would still have a dog's
brain and it's very unlikely that it would be able
to talk due to the unique way the human tongue and
trachea work. So it would still act like a dog, although
breeding for
intelligence
would
have to be part of the program. It'd be a smart
dog, at least.
Would a creature like this be a good helper animal
for invalids? Would it happily flip burgers for minimum
wage? At what point, as far as the bestiality laws
go, does this type of creature cease being a dog? Would
the Supreme Court weigh in on "one drop" tests?
Most importantly (as this would drive the fundies crazy)
if god made us in his
image
what
does it say about humans when we start making dogs
in god's image?
Update 6-1-2012: I postulated
in all seriousness about such creatures being used
for
prostitution. You may think that idea outside the bounds
of human decency but wait'll you read about this orangutan
used as a sex slave in Borneo.
--------------
Who
Wants to Be A Cartoon Character?
 We're
down to the
final few hours of Raging Pencils eBay Impulse Purchase Spectacular and
I'd like to take a moment to let you all know
how deeply disappointed I am.
To put it mildly, I cannot believe that you guys
are bidding on this junk. Aren't there
any used ketchup packets or mildewed cat hair-balls
or Mitt Romney campaign promises on eBay more worthy
of your hard-earned simoleons than being caricatured
in one of my cartoons?
Aw, well. Guess there's no accounting for tastes.
Either that or Karl Rove is shilling the bidding and will demand a refund from
Paypal after Dick Cheney tapes it to Harry Whittington's
face and uses it for target practice.
If you're still inclined to cast your pearls before my cartoony swine the auction
ends
at
9:30
AM
CST,
on
Monday
the
21st
of
May. And may Cthulhu have mercy on your souls.
Update: The auction is finally over (Congratulations, Wardz2005!)
and
I
wish
to
thank
all
of the participants
for their, uh, participation. So until we auction again, thanks for being the
best and most easily-beguiled audience in the whole, wide, world wide web.
=Lefty=
----------------
Notes, Notes, and More Notes.
Liar Alert: Mitt
Romney is such a liar that the Washington Post
created a new category in his honor: "Repeat
Offender".
Politics: Former Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee sent
out
a
fundraising letter calling Obama supporters "political
whores". Yeah, that's
statesmanship.
Sleaze: The GOP hired con
artists to head voter
registration drives in California. Guess how that turned
out? Two words: Voter
Fraud!
Good Guy Story: Rankin
Paynter paid
$200,000 to purchase the remaining contents of a K-Mart
store that was going
out of business.
He then donated it all to the poor. Nice guy!
Heresy: Gotta hand it to the
jews... they can't eat bacon but at least they
don't try to criminalize it.
Humor: "Mitt Romney believes
that marriage should be between one man and one
woman. Which is better than his grandfather, who
believed that it should be between one man and
five women." -Jimmy Kimmel
------------
And now our Chart of the Day: Net change in
Government Spending During First Term
Big honkin' version
here.
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 5-21-2012: On
Friday the House passed a bloated defense spending
bill, even though they were obligated to cut defense
spending as part of the Super Committee agreement.
Not only did the new bill include discriminatory
language it also included an amendment allowing
the government to institute propaganda against
the American people. The president has vowed to veto
this bill. No jobs were created unless you count
the military contractors rolling in effluent streams
of your tax dollars.
For the full 2001-2012 list of Republican sloth please
visit republicanjobcreation.com.
------------
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