No Peaking!

And now, appropos of nothing, it's time for wonky Peak Oil jokes. (By Zeus's knickerbockers, I LOVE these things!)

Hickory Dickory Dock,
the mouse ran up the clock,
the clock struck one,
but the rest multiplied and prospered in a post-industrial world caused by an over-reliance on oil supplies"

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because there were no more cars.

Yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away
but little did I know that the Ghawar oil field had passed its peak
Oh how I long, for yesterday...

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Jim.
Jim who?
Jim Kunstler. A leading advocate of the peak oil movement.
(That one really cracks me up... imagining poor Jim going door to door like a Mormon.)

Book 10 of the Harry Potter series: "Harry Potter and the coming global crisis caused by the Muggle's overdependence on crude oil"

A horse walks into a bar. No one notices because everyone rides horses now because oil supplies have dried up.

You have two cows. You are killed by a starving mob and your cows are eaten because civilization collapses due to a massive shortage in oil supplies.

What is the answer to 1 + 1?
An answer of two would depend upon the assumption that there are no hidden equations which, in the long term, reduce the ability for the answer to be a constant. All the issues need to be looked at and all equations considered before anyone can give an answer that can be trusted!

How many Peak Oilers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Traditional filament lightbulbs will be replaced either by low-power high-lumen LEDs, or else people will be using candles

Peak Oil version of "Shit Happens":
Shit will still happen... but at a reduced rate that will cause widespread economic chaos over the longer term.

Question: "Is the glass half-empty or half-full?"
Peak Oiler: "How you see it is of no concern. What is important is that there is less than before, and our society can't continue functioning without it".

In Soviet Russia, the problem of Peak Oil would still exist.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains ....."
"Doctor: I no longer practice medicine now because I have saved enough money to work full-time on raising awareness of the Peak Oil problem"

Why did the Rooster cross the road?
Because there were still no more cars.

Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Mini?
A: By having a world where all animal growth is stilted due to high Co2 levels in the atomsphere because of our overeliance upon fossil fuels that will eventually lead to a malthusian catastrophe and allow herd animals from Africa to roam into areas formerly urbanised by the almost-extinct human race.

-------

In the 3-10-2010 Rant I described Rush Limbaugh as a "cock-gobbler". A few of the more sensitive readers out there took offense at that appellation thinking I was resorting to shaming Mr. Limbaugh by tarring him with a cheap, homosexual brush. In truth, I was merely pointing out that he is a surreptitious cock-gobbler hiding behind a facade of blustery heterosexuality. I hope that satisfies all you wonderful cock-gobblers, rug-munchers and peeny-deedlers out there.

=lefty=