Poke Man

I have an idea for a new web site called "facebookwithbenefits.com."

It'll be just like Facebook but anyone who asks to be your friend has to shtup/bang/plow you at the time of your choosing. Simple as that.

It may sound crude but this would prove who your friends REALLY are and would drastically cut down on all of this "friend" business. After all, you don't have 462 friends, you have four. Four that will take you to the airport or bail you out or help you hide a body without grumbling the entire time or asking stupid questions like "Are those bite marks?"

Personally, I'd immediately begin a quest to bag every single girl with whom I attended high school. It was a small school so the feat would be conceivable. Unfortunately, I'm not quite the randy bugger I used to be so it might take a while. If all goes well, and someone invents a portable heart-lung machine, I figger I could run the deck by 2052.

PS, to Beloved Girlfriend: I did not just write this. I SWEAR!

=Lefty=