Verse
and Curse
Note:
The above cartoon
has been altered
from its original
form. The original
wording in the top
two panels was "The
Bible says nothing
about abortion/homosexuality".
My meaning being
that the Bible says
nothing worthy of
attention about either
abortion or homosexuality,
which it doesn't,
but my wording was
much too simplistic.
There are no laws
or penalties
or commandments
concerning either.
(Though be careful,
ladies, about grabbing
the balls of the
man your husband
is fighting.)
Hopefully this version works better for you. =Lefty=
-----------
To
those anxious to
have our houses of
worship re-open:
Your god will understand
if you choose to
self-distance a while
longer. After all,
the Bible is very
clear on suicide.
The only one who
needs those pews
filled is the pastor,
who has to pay for
his mansion, his
jet plane, his yacht
and his Congressman.
(Edit: He sure as
Hell doesn't have
to worry about paying
taxes.)
-------------
t-Rump is demanding
that people meet
in large groups,
sit close together,
and breathe heavily
on one another.
In other words, he
wants the churches
re-opened. Which
is pointless because
he can't tell state
governors what to
do. Although he'll
be happy to extort
them or blackmail
them to get his way.
After all he's in
real estate.
So why this particular
demand?
He wants protestors.
And not the same
old armed incels
and venal Karen's
screaming "Mah
FREEDOMS! Re-open!"
Yawn.
This time he wants
groups of armed incels
and venal Karen's
screaming "Religious
Oppression!" for
the benefit of Fox
News outside of whichever
church is nearest
their gated suburb,
a church they probably
haven't stepped inside
of in years.
t-Rump's poll numbers
stink, but this stunt
won't get him the
vote of even one
more evangelical.
They're already in
the bag for him.
Forever.
The real point of
this proclamation
is so that the news
will blare images
of armed demonstrations
in front of our sacred
mega-churches. And
after the commercial
break, or buried
somewhere on page
7b, will be a quick
mention that another
dedicated government
watchdog has been
replaced with another
White Supremacist
Howdy Doody or Racist
Elmo.
-----------
t-Rump
celebrates Memorial
Day, while the death
toll of Americans
due to the pandemic
reaches 100,000,
by going golfing.
It's usually at this
point in a movie
where the protagonist
wakes up, flutters
her eyelids and says "I
had the strangest
dream."
Unfortunately, this
is the kind of movie
where a parasitic
alien leaps onto
your face and plants
an egg in your stomach.
------------
While doing some
genealogical research
I stumbled across
my great-grandfather's
death certificate.
Luther Stanfill died
at the age of 34
on December 1, 1918....
Of influenza.
The Spanish flu.
You may have heard
of it.
History just reached
out and blew my tiny
little mind.
----------
This is just a reminder
that, at the outset
of the pandemic,
t-Rump said the reason
he fired Obama's
pandemic task force
was because he thought
it was a waste of
money to have them
sitting around not
working.
Not working.
Sighhhhhhhh.
Then he should fire
the entire Republican
Senate. (Oh, wait...
that would mean progress
would be made and
lives would be saved.
Nope. Can't have
that.)
-----------
Did anyone else,
upon hearing about
Baby Yoda, have an
image pop into your
head of two adult
Yoda's gettin' it
on?
"Urrrhhh-hur-hurrr.
Your Daddy I am!
Huge Force I have!
Come, did you? On
the pill are you?
URHERR! Boned, I
am."
=Lefty=
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