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The progressive web comic about how beer is like the internet.

start rant

Megabyte Me

My ISP accords me 1000GB of internet data each month, a quite generous amount since I don't have cable. What this means is that I currently use about 1/20th of my allotted supply. In a few months my ISP is going to raise my rates, seemingly becasue they just can, and we'll begin, again, the now almost ancient of pas de deuxs: The Dance of Consumer Displeasure.

It begins with me bowing to my call center partner, then asking them what I can do to get my rate back down. Then we both step to the right and turn.

Step- two-three.

Their reply will be that my old plan is only available at the higher rate but, if it will help, (turn-two- three) they can give me slightly faster speeds for the now higher rate. Then we both step to the left, bow, and give one another the finger.

Then I kick the ottoman.

This happens every year. Rinse and repeat. It's a scam. I'm tired of it.

So, from here on, at the end of each month, I pledge to autoplay HD Youtube videos on several computers 24/7 until I burn through nearly all the bandwidth available to me. Even though the energy cost to the ISP is probably trivial it'll make me feel like I'm getting my money's worth.


Speaking of utilities, this is the time of year when about the only electrical appliances in my home that use any appreciable amount of energy are my computer/monitor combo plus the 'fridge. It's nice to have a baseline of my monthly energy usage/greenhouse gas production.

So last month I was poring over my online electric bill, which graphs my daily use, when I noticed that on one particular day the amount of electricity use had doubled. A quick backward calculation revealed it was wash day. Four loads of wash and four loads of dry.

Honey-do retractable clotheslineThat bothered me a bit as I like a nice flat graph-line in such instances. In answer, since North Texas has no paucity of sunshine this time of year, I decided to install a clothesline. I wanted something retractable, as little of an eyesore as possible, so I bought this little device made by Honey-Can-Do. It has a 40-foot line, a swivel hinge, and it only cost $10.


I'd never used a clothesline before (Seriously!) so I wasn't prepared for the amount of sag a load of wet towels can induce, even on the tightest line. Even worse, my first attempt resulted in a load of my good t-shirts on the ground when the anchor at the far end broke free of its mooring.

I also wasn't prepared for the time it took for the wash to fully dry. The shirts took most of the day, and the towels I had to leave to fend for themselves overnight. In both cases the finished result was sort of... crunchy as there was no softener used in the drying process. So, once dry, I ran everything through the dryer for a few minutes with a dryer sheet. Perfecto!

Feeling smug I later did a quick check of my energy usage chart which revealed.... not much change from before. That was due, no doubt, to my limited clothesline space which meant two full loads of laundry had to be dried the traditional way. Next time I'll stagger wash days to make better use of the sun.

There's no doubt that this avocation will soon lose its novelty, especially once winter closes in, but for now it's a welcome diversion.


end rant

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Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Lefty: Hey, I don't see my beer on the menu.
Bartender: It's been replaced by this new beer.

Wait. This is my old beer but in a different bottle.
Yeah, it comes with a really wide neck so you can drink it in seconds.
You can even drink several beers at a time.
What? I don't drink beer like that.
Too bad. It's all we have now. Oh, and it'll cost you three times more.
Then I guess I'll just find go somewhere else to drink.
Sorry, this is the only bar in town.
How I feel when my ISP wants me to upgrade my internet connection.
Oh, and next year the neck gets wider.