Matter of the Meat

I have this funny suspicion that any space-faring culture which chances upon our polluted little speck of sand is not going to be horribly impressed by the fact that the dominant species of this planet sustains itself upon the living flesh of "inferior creatures".

Think about that. We've progressed about zero percent, tyranno-diet-wise, since that huge chunk of rock splashed down off Yucatan and heralded the rise of the fast-food franchise. We're currently not that much different from the dog rolling in his own poop out in the yard or the cat clawing the sofa... except for the fact that we're not carnivores.

Not. Carnivores. Not even close. Cats and dogs, in case you haven't noticed, don't get colon cancer from a diet of meat. We're cows trying to impress the neighbors with fancier grills and thicker cuts of sirloin.

What? You say you ARE a carnivore? Okay, go pick up a dead squirrel off the street and eat it raw. I'll wait.

No takers? Pussies.

If you believe that man's destiny is to someday travel through space then you should know that we're not taking the pigs, chickens, and moo-moo cows with us. There will be no modern slaughterhouse in space nor no nearby supermarket. There's little doubt by then that we will have perfected a modern, portable, plant-based analog for animal protein. So the question is: why don't we have it now and why are we wasting three-quarters of our planet's arable land in pursuit of only 8 percent of our calories?

Three-quarters. Eight percent. That is a classic definition of madness.

In truth, researchers all around the world are working on meat substitutes but there's one alternative many Americans might not have considered.....

Vegetables.

Yes, good old veggies. Regardless of what the meat-industry propaganda would have you believe plants produce all the amino acids and vitamins your body has grown to know and love, long before we learned to bang the rocks together.

Yes, I realize one little cartoon and one little rant isn't going to make anyone give up their quarter-pounder but it never hurts to try.

=Lefty=