Raging Pencils logo

Classic Raging Crappola
don't ask don't tell comic
Gays in the military.


Free progressive comics every Monday, Wednesday & Friday!
sneaker
boot
pump high heel pregnant
Support progressive comics
The progressive comic about Biblical punishments.
<- Who's On First? The GOP Plan ->

Control-click or right-click to bookmark
Raging Pencils

Looking for a specific Raging comic and/or Rant and can't find it?


start rant

Just Kidding!

jar of eyeballsIn Matthew 5:29 Jesus specifically states that if you get a feverish case of the hanky-pankies after a happenin' babe occludes your radar then you'd best wander down to Sporks R Us and grab something fashionable with which to yank out an eyeball lest ye be doomed to eternal torment in the fires of Hell, or New Jersey.

Seems rather harsh, don't it?

Biblical scholars pass this off as an example of harmless hyperbole, just Jesus trying to drive home a point that really, ha-ha, shouldn't be taken literally.

Bullshit! It's Jesus, okay? Not Fred the plumber. If the J-man says that rich guys won't make it to Heaven, I'm with him. And if he says watching the girls go by is punishable by ocular extraction, then so be it.

But that's only if you believe in Jesus, and I'm in the cynical corner so if you need me I'll be over in /r/femalemimesgonewild watching the ladies showin' it off inside invisible boxes, with both eyes.

BOTH EYES, MUTHAHFUCKAH!

Incidentally, Jesus didn't mention the consequences of female lust because it wasn't invented until 1787 by the Montgolfier brothers, so quit hatin' on the Bible. That's MY job.

-----------------

Hey! Here's a tasty chart to chew on, one indicating the not-so-surprising rise of anti-government groups only when the Democrats are in the White House. Click on the image for a much larger version.

anti-government patriot groups


=Lefty=


end rant



(All comments are moderated. Believe me, it's necessary.)
HTML Comment Box is loading comments...



-------------------------------------------

If you enjoy Raging Pencils, might I also recommend:
born again pagan
the infinite cat project


••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Can't make sense of the news? Try our selection of progressive nosh:
DailykosCrooks and LiarsThink ProgressTalking Points Memo
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Google Chow (Eat hearty, little Google-bots!)

Gay: It's not my fault, guys. Jesus said to pluck out an eye only if you look on a woman with lust.
Christians didn't really hate gays as much as they hated a loophole.








Overturn Citizens United