Bad
Doggie!
 Yesterday
I was out on a mission of a civic nature that had me
wandering my neighborhood alleyways. One of the first
things
you notice in such a pedestrian endeavor is how many
goddamn dogs infest the tiny backyards that make up
the Cloverdale Edition of Casa View.
In this blue-collar precinct in which I fester these
are not pets, they're Alpo-powered burglar alarms.
Nasty,
smelly,
noisy,
and totally unable
to discern a happy wanderer from a nefarious
scallawag. And it always seems that the more disheveled
the shack the larger the canine, or canines, guarding
the place.
So you can imagine my delight when, while deeply engrossed
in a bit of mental mathematics, a large brown
object
hurtled the cyclone fence about twenty feet away
and came racing towards me, teeth bared, no doubt
intent on wishing me a
nice day by surgically removing any bothersome stray
limbs I might have available.
Fortunately I've been to this dance before and the
one thing you never do is run from a dog protecting
its turf. So I stood calmly and screamed like a capybara
in heat until the owner
of the mutt
came racing out, obviously torn between watching the
rest of Judge Judy and having to hock his pick-up
to pay my beneficiaries.
It's not the dog's fault. Cthuhlu knows it's borderline
torture to leave such intelligent animals exposed to
the elements, year-round, just because some guy
wants to have a bigger TV than anyone else on the block. Small
wonder that dogs try and break the monotony
by releasing some
of that inner tension on passing strangers.
It's just
that next time it might be a kid the dog goes after.
What
then?
At the very least,
there ought to be some sort of ordinance that limits
an owner to certain breeds depending on fence height.
The shorter
the fence, the shorter the legs. It's a start.
----------------
Note 1: To all my Conservative friends
out there, I'd just like to admit that Barack Obama
is a failure... at creating a Kenyan
socialist caliphate.
Note 2: Ben and Jerry, the ice
cream guys, are stumping to pass a Constitutional
amendment overturning Citizens United. Be a good
little American and go sign
their petition.
Note 3: Politico did some wishful
thinking and mistook Wisconsin's
state flag for a
union banner. Oopsies! They're making amends by whitewashing
their site of the error. Double-oopsies!
Note 4: How can you tell when someone
is lying about how devout they are? Like a politician,
for instance?
Answer: You can't, but weasels like these are not
the problem. Religion is.
Note 5: Conservatives want women
to go back to the kitchen and let men bring home
the bacon. That might work if the Right could provide
good jobs. Something which they historically do
badly.
------------
And now our Chart of the
Day:
A Two-Fer! The Cost of Gas as
illustrated by Fox News and a chart showing the actual
trends.
=Lefty=
------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 2-22-2012: Congress
is still on holiday for President's Day. Cushy gig,
huh?
------------
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