Warrin'
Commission
 Next
year the city of Dallas, where I currently live and wheeze, will
mark
the 50th anniversary of the assassination of president John
F.
Kennedy.
My fair city has decided to mark the occasion by calling it "The
50th".
Just "The 50th".
That's pretty uninspired but it gets worse than that. Come next
November the Dallas powers-that-be (meaning old
rich,
white
guys,
reeking
of Pennzoil)
are going
to lock down Dealy Plaza 48 hours
before
the anniversary and surround it with armed (probably armored)
cops. There will be a downtown ceremony on the 23rd but you have
to have a ticket to get in and, so far, no one knows how many
will be printed or who will get one.
How about that?
To mollify the rabble unable to make the Big Shew the city plans
to erect several jumbotrons around the city to share the moment
of
silence because, you know, we don't have TV's or anything like
that here in Texas. Just roaming buffalo.
What the City of Hate is afraid of is Dealy Plaza being overrun
on the 23rd by hordes of Jackie and John zombie-lookalikes, either
stumbling or riding in their brain-strewn Lincoln convertibles,
exercising
their First Amendment right to ridicule a moment of disastrous
political expediency made possible largely by our Second Amendment.
Bonus Video: For even more scandalous fun the
late, lamented Bill Hicks discusses the Kennedy assassination.
----------------
 Every
day in this country young adults are forced
into the streets with
no place
to go
and little
to eat. Luckily for them there's places like Covenant
House. It
not only meets the immediate needs of homeless kids
but
also helps guide them to a self-sufficient future.
So if
you have a few bucks left over after buying Aunt Thelma
that new snood please consider making a small holiday
donation to this worthy organization.
Thanks!
----------------
Uncle Lefty's Saturnalian Shopping Tips
Looking for that special example of
commercial excess to impress the jaded kin on your
Xmas list? Well, howzabout
one of these?
 The
Yodeling Pickle
You may be asking yourself why you
would ever, in your right mind, consider purchasing
a yodeling pickle, but there's a very good reason:
Telemarketers.
Just snag one of these bad boys and leave it by the
phone. The next time you receive a call with a suspicious
looking caller ID you'll be prepared
to give your
unwanted pest an earful of pickle-liscious GTFO.
=Lefty=
-----------------
Republican Job Creation Update
 12-3-12: The
House spent forty minutes discussing a bill to amend
the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act. That's all they did. No jobs
were created.
12-4-12: The
House granted permanent resident status to six people
and referred an energy efficiency bill (H.R. 6852) to committee.
No jobs were created.
For the full list of Republican
sloth please visit republicanjobcreation.com.
----------------
Today's Chart of the Day: Who Will Get
the Blame for Tumbling America Off the Fiscal Cliff? (Arrows
added for gleeful, snarkity emphasis.)
Larger version of chart available here.
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