I have an idea for a new web site called "facebookwithbenefits.com."
It'll be just like Facebook but anyone who asks to be
your friend has to shtup/bang/plow you at the time of
your choosing. Simple as that.
It may sound crude but this would prove who your friends
REALLY are and would drastically cut down on all of
this "friend" business. After all, you don't
have 462 friends,
have four. Four that will take you to the airport or
bail you out or help you hide a body without grumbling
the entire time or asking stupid questions like "Are
those bite marks?"
Personally, I'd immediately begin a quest to bag every
single girl with whom
I attended high school. It
was a small school so the feat would be conceivable.
Unfortunately, I'm not quite the randy bugger I used
to be so it might take a while. If all goes well, and
someone invents a portable heart-lung
machine, I figger I could run the deck by 2052.
to Beloved Girlfriend: I did not just write this. I SWEAR!