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Raging Pencils by
Mike "Lefty" Stanfill
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me, Onan.
Know
Your Scumbag, Part 5
 Today
we get a scumbag two-fer as CEO of Coventry Health
Care, Dale Wolf (right) retired on 1-30-09. He
was replaced by Alan Wise (left).
Compensation for Mr. Wise is hard to come by but
Mr. Wolf made about $10 million his last year at
the helm.
----------
 Speaking
of scumbags... years
ago, when Glenn Beck was a morning radio jock,
he and another DJ, Bruce Kelly, had an on-going
feud. When Kelly's wife suffered a miscarriage
Beck phoned her up a couple of days later and chided
her
about it, telling her that her husband couldn't
do anything
right.
Nice, huh?
A few years later Beck's second daughter was born
with cerebral palsy.
Maybe there is a god.
-----
One other Glenn Beck item: Since
the day he called President Obama "a racist who
hates white people" his television program has
lost 80 advertisers, and yet he remains on the
air.
That's not capitalism at work, that's propaganda.
----------
Finally:
Top Ten Things a Late Night Television
Show host gets to enjoy:
(10) Shtupping the ushers
(9) Moisturizing the make-up artists
(8) Riding the old writing staff, if you know what
I mean
(7) Employing a high pressure front on the weather
girl
(6) Slipping the sausage to craft services
(5) Indoctrinating the interns
(4) Grinding grodies with the roadies
(3) Grilling the lunch ladies
(2) Laying pipe with Paul
(1) Screwing O'Brien
=Lefty=
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Raging Pencils salutes the
Mystery Reader of
Moncton,
New Brunswick
Whoever
you are, thanks for
reading my lamentable
little 'toon.
Still hungry for real news and analysis?
Try our selection of progressive nosh:
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Progress • Talking
Points Memo
Today's
Google Chow.
"Hello. I'm Mike Stanfill, creator of Raging Pencils .
I couldn't help but notice how David Letterman's ratings
jumped 30% after his apology about having sex with
his female employees. So with that in mind, I'd like
to apologize for having sex with my employees.
Although I am currently the only employee here that
doesn't mean the details are any less sordid. It might
disturb you to know that I have, in fact, forced myself
to engage in sex with myself many times.
Many, many times.
But you have my word that I will, from this moment
forward, try my best to comport myself in a manner
befitting that of cartoonist's everywhere... except
Stephen Pastis. That guy's nuts.
Thank you."
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